34 英翻中 WEDLOCK OR DEADLOCK? 是结婚僵局还是死結？ 10/04/2025
CHAPTER SIX WEDLOCK OR DEADLOCK? 1 Peter 3:1–7 第六章 是结婚僵局还是死結？ 彼得前书 3:1-7
恩愛的婚姻是男女雙方必须努力以付的事情. 完滿的婚姻不是自动形成的, 更不是魔鬼使用肉體情慾試探的結果。 編輯者與愛人於1962年結婚至今, 已經走過63個年頭. 因為我們深信婚姻是上帝為我們安排的. 每逢婚姻遇到難處時, 就一起跪下, 求主指點祂的旨意. 祂總是啟示我們去讀創始第二章十八節: 耶和華 神說, 那人獨居不好, 我要為他造一個配偶幫助他. 讀完這節聖經我們都自己開始認罪, 請求對方的原諒. 上帝就饒恕我們的自私的罪! 使我們重歸和好. 請主內兄弟姊妹體諒, 這就是我要翻譯創世記的心聲, 使世人明白上帝造人的本意.
Astrange
situation exists in society today. We have more readily available information
about sex and marriage than ever before, yet we have more marital problems and
divorces. Obviously something is wrong. It is not sufficient to say that God is
needed in these homes, because even many Christian marriages are falling apart.
The fact that a man and a woman are both saved is no guarantee that their marriage will succeed. Marriage is something that we have to work at; success is not automatic. And when one marriage partner is not a Christian, that can make matters even more difficult. Peter addressed this section of his letter to Christian wives who had unsaved husbands, telling them how to win their mates to Christ. Then he added some important admonitions for Christian husbands. 婚姻雙方都得救的事实, 并不能保证他们的婚姻一定会成功。婚姻是男女雙方必须努力的事情；成功不是自动的。而当婚姻另一半不是基督徒时，事情就会变得更加困难。彼得将这封信的这一部分写给丈夫未得救的基督徒妻子，告诉她们如何赢得配偶归向基督。然后他为基督徒丈夫添加了一些重要的警告。
No matter what your marital status may be, you can learn from Peter the essentials for a happy and successful marriage. 无论您的婚姻状况如何，您都可以向彼得学习幸福和成功婚姻的基本要素。
1. The Example of Christ (3:1a, 7a) 1. 基督的榜样（3:1a, 7a）
The
phrases “in the same manner” and “in like manner” refer us back to Peter’s
discussion of the example of Jesus Christ (1 Peter
Much of our learning in life comes by way of imitation. Grandparents have a delightful time watching their grandchildren pick up new skills and words as they grow up. If we imitate the best models, we will become better people and better achievers, but if we imitate the wrong models, it will cripple our lives and possibly ruin our characters. The role models that we follow influence us in every area of life. 我们在生活中的大部分学习都是通过模仿来的。祖父母在看着他们的孙子孙女长大后, 学习新技能和新词汇时度过了愉快的时光。如果我们模仿最好的模型，我们会成为更好的人, 和更好的成就者，但如果我们模仿错误的模型，它会削弱我们的生活，并可能毁掉我们的性格。我们追随的榜样影响着我们生活的各個方面。
When
Christian couples try to imitate the world and get their standards from
Peter also pointed to Sarah as a model for Christian wives to follow. To be sure, Sarah was not perfect, but she proved to be a good helpmeet to Abraham, and she is one of the few women named in Hebrews 11. I once made a pastoral visit to a woman who said she had marital problems, and I noticed a number of “movie fan club magazines” in the magazine rack. After listening to the woman’s problems, I concluded that she needed to follow some Bible examples and models and get her mind off of the worldly examples. 彼得还指出莎拉是基督徒妻子可以效仿的榜样。可以肯定的是，莎拉并不完美，但事实证明她是亚伯拉罕的好帮手，而且她是希伯来书 11 章中提到的为数不多的女性之一。我曾经拜访一位说她有婚姻问题的女人，并且我注意到杂志架上有许多“电影粉丝俱乐部杂志”。听完这位女士的问题后，我得出的结论是，她需要遵循一些圣经的例子和模式，让她的注意力从世俗的例子上移开。
We cannot follow Christ’s example unless we first know Him as our Savior, and then submit to Him as our Lord. We must spend time with Him each day, meditating on the Word and praying, and a Christian husband and wife must pray together and seek to encourage each other in the faith. 除非我们首先认识祂是我们的救主，然后顺服祂为我们的主，否则我们无法效法基督的榜样。我们必须每天花时间与祂在一起，默想上帝的话和祈祷，基督徒丈夫和妻子必须一起祈祷，并在信仰上互相鼓励。
1. Submission (3:1–6) 1. 提交（3:1-6）
Twice
in this paragraph Peter reminded Christian wives that they were to be
submissive to their husbands (1 Peter 3:1, 5). The word translated “subjection”
is a military term that means “to place under rank.” God has a place for
everything; He has ordained various levels of authority (see 1 Peter
Peter
gave three reasons why a Christian wife should submit to her husband, even if
the husband (as in this case) is not saved.
Submission
is an obligation (v. 1a). God has commanded it because, in His wisdom, He knows
that this is the best arrangement for a happy, fulfilling marriage. Subjection
does not mean that the wife is inferior to the husband. In fact, in 1 Peter
3:7, Peter made it clear that the husband and wife are “heirs together.” The
man and woman are made by the same Creator out of the same basic material, and
both are made in God’s image. God gave dominion to both Adam and Eve (Gen.
1:28), and in Jesus Christ Christian mates are one (Gal.
Submission
has to do with order and authority, not evaluation. For example, the slaves in
the average Roman household were superior in many ways to their masters, but
they still had to be under authority. The buck private in the army may be a
better person than the five-star general, but he is still a buck private. Even
Christ Himself became a servant and submitted to God’s will. There is nothing
degrading about submit[1]ting
to authority or accepting God’s order. If anything, it is the first step toward
fulfillment. And Ephesians
Husbands
and wives must be partners, not com[1]petitors.
After a wedding ceremony, I often privately say to the bride and groom, “Now,
remember, from now on it’s no longer mine or yours, but ours.” This explains
why Christians must always marry other Christians, for a believer cannot enter
into any kind of deep “oneness” with an unbeliever (2 Cor.
Submission is an opportunity (vv. 1b–2). An opportunity for what? To win an unsaved husband to Christ. God not only commands submission, but He uses it as a powerful spiritual influence in a home. This does not mean that a Christian wife “gives in” to her unsaved husband in order to subtly manipulate him and get him to do what she desires. This kind of selfish psychological persuasion ought never to be found in a Christian’s heart or home. 顺服是机会（1b-2 第1节後半段至第2 節）。什么机会？为基督赢得一个未得救的丈夫。上帝不仅命令顺服，而且祂将顺从作为在家中强大的属灵影响力。这并不意味着基督徒妻子“屈服”于她未得救的丈夫，以巧妙地操纵他，让他做她想做的事。这种自私的心理劝说绝不应该在基督徒的心中或家中找到。
An unsaved
husband will not be converted by preaching or nagging in the home. The phrase
“without the word” does not mean “without the Word of God,” because salvation
comes through the Word (John
一个丈夫未得救的基督徒妻子可能会认为，如果她要赢得配偶，就必须模仿这个世界，但事实恰恰相反。魅力是人为的和外在的；真正的美是真实的和内在的。魅力是一个人可以穿上和脱下的东西，但真正的美总是存在的。
It is the character and conduct of the wife that will win the lost husband—not arguments, but such attitudes as submission, understanding, love, kindness, patience. These qualities are not manufactured; they are the fruit of the Spirit that come when we are submitted to Christ and to one another. A Christian wife with “purity and reverence” will reveal in her life “the praises” of God (1 Peter 2:9) and influence her husband to trust Christ. 赢得失去丈夫的是妻子的品格和行为 —不是争论，而是顺服、理解、爱、仁慈、耐心等态度。这些品质不是制造出来的；当我们顺服基督并彼此顺服时，它们就是圣灵的果子。“纯洁和敬畏”的基督徒妻子会在她的生活中彰显对上帝的“赞美”（彼得前书 2:9），并影响她的丈夫相信基督。
One of
the greatest examples of a godly wife and mother in church history is Monica,
the mother of the famous
In a
Christian home, we must minister to each other. A Christian husband must
minister to his wife and help to “beautify her” in the Lord (Eph.
Submission is an ornament (vv. 3–6). The word translated “adorning” is kosmos in the Greek, and gives us our English words cosmos (the ordered universe) and cosmetic. It is the opposite of chaos. Peter warned the Christian wife not to major on external decorations but on internal character. Roman women were captivated by the latest fashions of the day and competed with each other in dress and hairdos. It was not unusual for the women to have elaborate coiffures, studded with gold and silver combs and even jewels. They wore elaborate and expensive garments, all for the purpose of impressing each other. 顺服是一种装饰（3-6 节）。翻译为“装饰”的词在希腊语中是 kosmos，它给了我们英文单词 cosmos（有序的宇宙）和化妆品。它与混乱相反。彼得警告基督徒妻子不要专注于外表的装饰，而要注重内在的品格。罗马女性被当时的最新时尚迷住了，并在服装和发型上相互竞争。女性拥有精致的发型，饰有金银梳子甚至珠宝的情况并不少见。他们穿着精致昂贵的服装，都是为了给对方留下深刻印象。
A Christian wife with an unsaved husband might think that she must imitate the world if she is going to win her mate, but just the opposite is true. Glamour is artificial and external; true beauty is real and internal. Glamour is something a person can put on and take off, but true beauty is always present. Glamour is corruptible; it decays and fades. True beauty from the heart grows more wonderful as the years pass. A Christian woman who cultivates the beauty of the inner person will not have to depend on cheap externals. God is concerned about values, not prices. 基督徒妻子如果有一位未得救的丈夫，她可能會認為如果她想贏得她的伴侶，她就必須模仿這個世界，但事實恰恰相反。魅力是人為的、外在的；真正的美是真實的、內在的。魅力是一個人可以穿上和脫下的東西，但真正的美麗始終存在。魅力是會腐朽的；它會腐爛消失。發自內心的真正美麗會隨著歲月的流逝而變得更加精彩。培養內在美的基督教女性不必依賴廉價的外在事物。上帝關心的是價值，而不是價格。
Of course, this does not mean that a wife should neglect herself and not try to be up-to-date in her apparel. It simply means that she is not majoring on being a fashion plate just to keep up with the crowd. Any husband is proud of a wife who is attractive, but that beauty must come from the heart, not the store. We are not of this world, but we must not look as though we came from out of this world! 当然，这并不意味着妻子应该忽视自己，不要试图在她的服装上跟上时代。这仅仅意味着她不是为了跟上人群而专注于成为时尚板块。任何丈夫都以有魅力的妻子为荣，但这种美丽必须来自内心，而不是商店。我们不属于这个世界，但我们不能看起来好像我们来自这个世界！
Peter did not forbid the wearing of jewelry any more than the wearing of apparel. The word “wearing” in 1 Peter 3:3 means “the putting around,” and refers to a gaudy display of jewelry. It is possible to wear jewelry and still honor God, and we must not judge one another in this matter.彼得并没有禁止佩戴首饰，就像禁止穿衣服一样。彼得前书 3:3 中的“穿戴”一词的意思是“摆弄”，指的是华而不实的珠宝展示。佩戴珠宝仍然可以荣耀上帝，我们不能在这件事上互相评判。
Peter closed this section by pointing to Sarah as an example of a godly, submissive wife. Read Genesis 18 for the background. Christian wives today would probably embarrass their husbands if they called them “lord,” but their attitudes ought to be such that they could call them “lord” and people would believe it The believing wife who submits to Christ and to her husband, and who cultivates a “meek and quiet spirit” will never have to be afraid. (The “fear” in this verse means “terror,” while in 1 Peter 3:2 it means “reverence.”) God will watch over her even when her unsaved mate creates problems and difficulties for her. 以撒拉作为一个虔诚、顺从的妻子的例子来结束这一部分。阅读创世记 18 章的背景。今天的基督徒妻子如果称她们为“主”，可能会让丈夫难堪，但她们的态度应该是这样，她们可以称她们为“主”，人们会相信。培养出“温顺安静的靈性”，就永远不用害怕了。 （这节经文中的“恐惧”意思是“恐惧”，而在彼得前书 3:2 中意思是“敬畏”。）即使她未得救的伴侣给她带来麻烦和困难，上帝也会看顾她。
2. Consideration (3:7) 2. 考虑（3:7）
Why did
Peter devote more space to instructing the wives than the husbands? Because the
Christian wives were experiencing a whole new situation and needed guidance. In
general, women were kept down in the
As Peter wrote to the Christian husbands, he reminded them of four areas of responsibility in their relationship with their mates. 当彼得写信给基督徒丈夫时，他提醒他们在与配偶的关系中要承担四个责任。
Physical—“dwell
with them.” This implies much more than sharing the same address. Marriage is
funda[1]mentally
a physical relationship: “They two shall be one flesh” (Eph.
The husband must make time to be home with his wife. Christian workers and church officers who get too busy running around solving other people’s problems may end up creating problems of their own at home. One survey revealed that the average husband and wife had thirty-seven minutes a week together in actual communication! Is it any wonder that marriages fall apart after the children grow up and leave home? The husband and wife are left alone—to live with strangers! “Dwell with them” also suggests that the husband provide for the physical and material needs of the home. While it is not wrong for a wife to have a job or career, her first responsibility is to care for the home (Titus 2:4–5). It is the husband who should provide (1 Tim. 5:8). 丈夫必须抽出时间回家陪妻子。忙于解决别人问题的基督徒工人和教会官员最终可能会在家中制造自己的问题。一项调查显示，夫妻之间平均每周有 37 分钟的实际交流时间！难怪孩子长大离家后婚姻破裂？丈夫和妻子独自一人——与陌生人住在一起！ “与他们同住”也暗示丈夫提供家庭的物质和物质需求。虽然妻子有工作或事业并没有错，但她的首要责任是照顾家庭（提多书 2：4-5）。应该由丈夫提供（1 Tim. 5:8）。
Intellectual—“according to knowledge.” Somebody asked Mrs. Albert Einstein if she understood Dr. Einstein’s theory of relativity, and she replied, “No, but I understand the doctor.” In my premarital counseling as a pastor, I often gave the couple pads of paper and asked them to write down the three things each one thinks the other enjoys doing the most. Usually, the prospective bride made her list immediately; the man would sit and ponder. And usually the girl was right but the man wrong! What a beginning for a marriage! 知识分子 —“根据知识”。有人问爱因斯坦夫人是否了解爱因斯坦博士的相对论，她回答说：“不，但我了解这位医生。”在我作为牧师的婚前辅导中，我经常给这对夫妇一叠纸，让他们写下他们认为对方最喜欢做的三件事。通常，准新娘会立即列出她的名单；男人会坐下来思考。通常女孩是对的，但男人是错的！婚姻的开端！
It is
amazing that two married people can live together and not really know each
other! Ignorance is dangerous in any area of life, but it is especially dangerous
in marriage. A Christian husband needs to know his wife’s moods, feelings,
needs, fears, and hopes. He needs to “listen with his heart” and share
meaningful communication with her. There must be in the home such a protective atmosphere
of love and submission that the husband and wife can disagree and still be
happy together.
“Speaking
the truth in love” is the solution to the communications problem (Eph.
Emotional—“giving honor unto the wife.” Chivalry may be dead, but every husband must be a “knight in shining armor” who treats his wife like a princess. (By the way, the name Sarah means “princess.”) Peter did not suggest that a wife is “the weaker vessel” mentally, morally, or spiritually, but rather physically. There are exceptions, of course, but generally speaking, the man is the stronger of the two when it comes to physical accomplishments. The husband should treat his wife like an expensive, beautiful, fragile vase, in which is a precious treasure. 情感 —“尊重妻子”。骑士精神可能已经死了，但每个丈夫都必须是像对待公主一样对待妻子的“金甲骑士”。 （顺便说一句，莎拉这个名字的意思是“公主”。）彼得并没有暗示妻子在精神、道德或精神上是“较弱的容器”，而是在身体上。当然也有例外，但一般来说，在身体成就方面，男人是两者中更强的。丈夫应该把妻子当作一个昂贵的、美丽的、易碎的花瓶，里面是珍贵的宝物。
When a young couple starts dating, the boy is courteous and thoughtful. After they get engaged, he shows even more courtesy and always acts like a gentleman. Sad to say, soon after they get married, many a husband forgets to be kind and gentlemanly and starts taking his wife for granted. He forgets that happiness in a home is made up of many little things, including the small courtesies of life. 当一对年轻夫妇开始约会时，男孩很有礼貌和体贴。他们订婚后，他表现得更加礼貌，总是表现得像个绅士。可悲的是，结婚后不久，许多丈夫忘记了善良和绅士，开始将妻子视为理所当然。他忘记了家庭中的幸福是由许多小事组成的，包括生活中的小事。
Big resentments often grow out of small hurts. Husbands and wives need to be honest with each other, admit hurts, and seek for forgiveness and healing. “Giving honor unto the wife” does not mean “giving in to the wife.” A husband can disagree with his wife and still respect and honor her. As the spiritual leader in the home, the husband must sometimes make decisions that are not popular; but he can still act with courtesy and respect. 大的怨恨往往源于小的伤害。丈夫和妻子需要彼此诚实，承认伤害，并寻求宽恕和治愈。 “尊重妻子”并不意味着“屈服于妻子”。丈夫可以不同意他的妻子，但仍然尊重和尊重她。作为家庭的精神领袖，丈夫有时必须做出不受欢迎的决定；但他仍然可以礼貌和尊重地行事。
“Giving honor” means that the husband respects his wife’s feelings, thinking, and desires. He may not agree with her ideas, but he respects them. Often God balances a marriage so that the husband needs what the wife has in her personality, and she likewise needs his good qualities. An impulsive husband often has a patient wife, and this helps to keep him out of trouble! “尊荣”是指丈夫尊重妻子的感情、思想和愿望。他可能不同意她的想法，但他尊重他们。上帝常常平衡婚姻，使丈夫需要妻子的个性，同样，她也需要他的优良品质。一个冲动的丈夫往往有一个耐心的妻子，这有助于他远离麻烦！
The husband must be the “thermostat” in the home, setting the
emotional and spiritual temperature. The wife often is the “thermometer,”
letting him know what that temperature is! Both are necessary. The husband who
is sensitive to his wife’s feelings will not only make her happy, but will also
grow himself and help his children live in a home that honors God. 丈夫必须是家里的“恒温器”，设定情绪和精神的温度。妻子通常是“温度计”，让他知道温度是多少！两者都是必要的。对妻子的感受敏感的丈夫不仅会让她快乐，而且会成长自己，帮助他的孩子生活在荣耀上帝的家中。
Spiritual—“that your prayers be not hindered.” Peter assumed that husbands and wives would pray together. Often, they do not; and this is the reason for much failure and unhappiness. If unconverted people can have happy homes without prayer (and they do), how much happier Christian homes would be with prayer! In fact, it is the prayer life of a couple that indicates how things are going in the home. If something is wrong, their prayers will be hindered. 属灵的 —“让你的祈祷不受阻碍。”彼得假设丈夫和妻子会一起祷告。通常，他们不会；这就是许多失败和不幸的原因。如果未悔改的人可以在没有祷告的情况下拥有幸福的家庭（他们确实如此），那么有祷告的基督徒家庭会多么幸福！事实上，正是一对夫妇的祷告生活表明了家里的情况。如果出了什么问题，他们的祈祷就会受到阻碍。
A husband and wife need to have their own private, individual prayer time each day. They also need to pray together and to have a time of “family devotion.” How this is organized will change from home to home, and even from time to time as the children grow up and schedules change. The Word of God and prayer are basic to a happy, holy home (Acts 6:4). 丈夫和妻子每天都需要有自己的私人祷告时间。他们还需要一起祈祷，并有一段“家庭奉献”的时光。这种组织方式会因家而异，甚至会随着孩子的成长和日程安排的变化而不时发生变化。上帝的话语和祈祷是幸福、圣洁家庭的基础（使徒行传 6:4）。
A husband and wife are “heirs together.” If the wife shows submission and the husband consideration, and if both submit to Christ and follow His example, then they will have an enriching experience in their marriage. If not, they will miss God’s best and rob each other of blessing and growth. “The grace of life” may refer to children, who certainly are a heritage from God (Ps. 127:3), but even childless couples can enjoy spiritual riches if they will obey Peter’s admonitions. 丈夫和妻子是“共同的继承人”。如果妻子顺服，丈夫体谅，双方都顺服基督，效法祂的榜样，那么他们的婚姻就会有丰富的经验。否则，他们将错过上帝最好的，并互相剥夺祝福和成长。 “生命的恩典”可能指的是孩子，他们当然是上帝的产业（诗篇 127:3），但即使是没有孩子的夫妇，如果他们听从彼得的劝告，他们也可以享受属灵的财富。
1. Are we partners or competitors?
2. Are we helping each other become more spiritual?
3. Are we depending on the externals or the eternals? The artificial
or the real?
4. Do we understand each other better?
5. Are we sensitive to each other’s feelings and ideas, or taking each other for granted? 5.我们是对彼此的感受和想法敏感，还是认为彼此理所当然？
6. Are we seeing God answer our prayers?
7. Are we enriched because of our marriage, or robbing each other of God’s blessing? Honest answers to these questions might make a difference! 7. 我们是因为婚姻而富有，还是因为彼此抢夺了神的祝福？诚实回答这些问题可能会 有所作为！
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